Hmm, okay so neither of my connecting flights, nor white limmo seem to have crashed as I am here to blog, and this it’s all good folks. Oh yeah. xD.

No, but seriously. I’m alright. We caught a rex flight to Sydney which took a mere fourty minutes and then an hour and a half flight from Sydney to Brisbane and after that we got picked up by a white limmo at the airport that brought us the half an hour ride to Sea World Resort. it’s happy! (…yeah still too much sammy even though I’ve barely spoken to her in three days or so.) Theres a spa and gardens, lots of shops and good food in the lobby. I have my annoying arse cousin here to annoy me as well as Lillabub, but it’s not too bad really. Well except for the fact I’ve been swimming too much and I hurt my muscles.

Yesterday we fed the dolphins, not terribly exciting really. You just threw a fish at them. It’s lucky they eat fish or they might have been offended, you know. I would have been offended if people threw raw fish and squid at me. but yeah, it sorta sucked. No swimming with the dolphins apparently, it was just a rather painful walk around the park early in the morning with a grand finalle of throwing fish.

We watched Night at the museum last night, it was good, hillarious actually. It has a whole host of commedians in it, so it would want to be funny, I suppose. The internet here sucks, my aunt didnt bring her laptop so I’m restricted to an internet uh.. stand? I have a photo, when I get home I’ll upload it. Its two dollars for 15 minutes, whichin Australian money isn’t *too* bad.

Oh, about the dolphins. I fed a girl, she was terribly pretty, her name is Stormy. I think Aunty Robyn fed Cyrus. Though, Aunty Robyn freaked a little over the fish. All paranoid we’d smell like it, the fish had been frozen anyways and smelt okay, for fish.

Sammy missed me this morning, I got on here before I went to sea world to talk to her but she was cleaning her room -.- can’t win. Hopefully she’s replied at the rpg, though.

We havent been doing much else really, but between sea world and running too and fro there isn’t honestly a lot to do really. Nor is there much time to do it, though they still make good banana splits here.

 So, who has missed me, eh?

Imiss you all *cuddles* I’m off to check the rpg now though. I can’t do both at once, it kinda only lets one window open at once. they need opera.

We always spent the summers in France; it was our haven. Our place away from the world, no one, not even the heavens could deny us this place. It was our soul, our inner peace. You don’t get much peace in this world, I once heard it said that life was pain and anyone who said otherwise was selling something and they were right, it is. Our pain wasn’t in France though, it was in England and that’s where we left it, no questions asked.

Sirius and I had an odd relationship, it would seem it was some cruel twist of fate that we’d be related. He and I were closer than friends, closer than family. Closer than lovers, when we lay together to keep each other company it brought us a completeness that I now realise my family never felt. It wasn’t sexual for a long time, we just had a tendency for sleeping better curled up together. Part of being a Black was accepting that happiness wasn’t your prerogative, something I had become so adjusted over the years it still surprises me when I think back that I found so much in someone I had known for so long.

We used to lie outside on the cooling grass in the evenings and watch the daylight turn to dusk, finding our stars and talking. Andromeda would come along sometimes, but she’d often choose to retire to the house early, I think she sensed something long before we ever knew what we were doing, it was just so easy to relax with Sirius. We’d play the stupidest games and we’d run and run it would seem for hours, we’d swim in the sea and climb the trees which my mother so despised me doing. Our parents barely ever came to the summer house, there were house elves there to look after us and we all knew where they were if we wanted them, but we never did. With the five of us alone everything was alright, even if I only sought time with Andromeda and Sirius, Regulus and Narcissa needed me too.

We knew there was a war coming, and each summer brought it closer but that didn’t matter. We didn’t talk about it for so long; we had too many differences on the subject. War has many first and lasts, we all knew that, even then. We never thought that it would all go so wrong.

‘Bella, you won’t. Right?’ was all Sirius said, and my world stopped. I didn’t disagree with the man who I had come to know as Lord Voldemort, and yes I could hurt people but at fifth teen I wasn’t a killer, what person in their right mind is? I didn’t have much choice in the matter though, it seemed at the time that once again my decisions had been made for me.

At the time I thought Sirius might come to hate me if I followed Lord Voldemort and I kept avoiding it, but I wasn’t to be called a coward and that’s what Lucius thought of me, despite the fact I had more courage then he could ever have. He was a Malfoy, he wouldn’t die for his passions, for he was born without them. In a brief moment of wisdom when I was little my mother once told me that if you have passion, you have life, and life will make you stronger, make you succeed. I suppose deep down my mother loved me in her own way, for she did seek to impart some form of wisdom to me even at a young age.

So for a year or so more we ignored the now visible and threatening war on wizarding society and went on with the humdrum of our daily routine, much as we had for our entire lives. We were lying in the grass one full moon in the last summer we would spend together and watching the moon slowly make its trip across the sky and listening to my favourite song on the radio and he rolled over onto his side watching me with the indescribable grin he always seemed to keep just for me. He said ‘The way your eyes shine put the stars to shame,’ and I laughed and said ‘that’s a lie.’ He just shook his head and then, did the one thing that really changed my world, he kissed me. When he pulled away he blushed scarlet and I just smiled. I don’t remember who pulled who up anymore and it doesn’t matter, we danced, we danced all night. I was wearing my favourite black dress, he always loved that dress, said it made me shine like my namesake. How black material could make me shine I shall never know, though it did make me look rather like a demon some nights, though now I have spent many nights virtually being peoples demons I see what I couldn’t have seen then. What was invisible to me all the way across in France with my head nestled against Sirius’ chest dancing while the moon glistened over the sea. Love like I would never find again, not even with Rodolphus. Life’s funny like that I suppose, but Sirius and I couldn’t have really been together. We were cousins.

He brought that damned motorcycle of his in France, drove up to the mansion one day on it looking proud as punch and all I could do was shake my head and try not to laugh. That evening he went to some lengths trying to get me and Andromeda on the motorcycle, eventually he succeeded with giving us both a ride. Once, he insisted I go to a near by village with him, I don’t know why really, but we had fun. He even had the audacity to buy me clothes, muggle clothes. It was a gag gift really, a pair of blue jeans and a nice white shirt. I think what was worse is the fact I had the audacity to wear the silly things. I wore them mostly when I was alone, resting in the garden sun baking. Sirius saw me a few times and was a little shocked, but he had never thought me predictable. When September came they were faded slightly, and Sirius was surprised when he saw me packing them. Well, I was surprised too, really. Sirius had the good grace not to mention it further though.

This is based off an RPG, sammy’s Sirius, my Bella, JKRs world, a song called ‘Tim Mcgraw and Gods only know what else. xD

I got new sunnies (sunglasses) today for my holiday (see previous post) and I thought I’d show you while I was still home.

Sorry about the quality.

]]> http://aniraangel.wordpress.com/2007/04/11/matix-music-here/feed/ 1 Silver http://aniraangel.wordpress.com/2007/04/11/leaving-on-a-jet-plane/ http://aniraangel.wordpress.com/2007/04/11/leaving-on-a-jet-plane/#comments Wed, 11 Apr 2007 13:05:21 +0000 Stephanie http://aniraangel.wordpress.com/2007/04/11/leaving-on-a-jet-plane/ ]]>

So, in say…ten and a half hours I’ll be going to Parkes with my little sis and getting on a regional airline plane to fly to Sydney, at which point we’ll meet up with my Aunty Robyn, Cousin Margret and her son Lachlan. At 12 something we’re catching a flight to Brisbane and will be afterwards staying at Nara Resort at sea world for a few days, then staying at a sea side apartment building for the rest of the eight days I’ll be away. I’ll try to update here, so you can check back here. I’ll have Internet access the whole time as far as I can tell so it should be all good. I also get to swim with the dolphins.

Oh I haven’t seen the sea in so long, it shall be glorious.

To all my lovelies. I’ll BBS.

If you look into the fire you will see me, sweet cousin. I am the flame and I am the moth. I am drawn to fire in much the same was as the moth. Now you must understand had there not been a hate I may not have caught aflame, but I would not have been that which fate had already destined me too. I’m not good or evil, I’m just part of the world, part of the natural order. You would not love me so if I had not been me, or perhaps worse you might have been destined to fill my place. Whatever happens from here on is no ones fault. People die everyday, you just need to get used to it. Be the hunter not the hunted.

Just an except I wrote, an original.

Now anyone who knows me should know I’m all for religious freedoms, so what I am about to say in a moment has NOTHING to do with the fact it’s to do with Islam, I wouldn’t even feel the need to state this at the start of the post, had religion not caused so much hate and trouble that people might misconstrue what I say just because I’m not part of that religion.

I’m alright with rituals, all religions have them. Mine has a ritual for nearly every event possible, so I’m actually rather fond of them. Animal sacrifice I have a few issues with, even if they do eat it/send it to be eaten. I’m watching a documentary on the pilgrimage to Mecca, the one Muslims take every year (I don’t mean they all take it every year. Talk about traffic congestion.) and they slaughter uh one sheep per person or a camel per seven people… not only is it extremely gross to watch a sheep get its throat slit but its a little disconcerting. The meat does go to poor countries to feed the poor, which is good, but it was a little cruel, they made us watch it drown in its own blood. Though I know slaughter houses are sometimes worse I still don’t fancy it much. Ah well, there are worse things then death…

I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE BEST WIFE EVER.

THAT IS ALL. COME AGAIN.

Bellatrix doesn’t like love. She loved Sirius, and he betrayed her. She loved Andromeda and she did the same, she even loved Regulus but now he’s dead. Love isn’t a good thing, she thinks.

But she knows he loves her, in his own strange way and something inside of her knows she loves him too, but neither of them say it. Not usually, at least. Sometimes it’s whispered reverently in the heat of the moment when they kiss or when they fuck, and sometimes she hears Rodolphus murmur it almost silently when he thinks she is asleep, but they’re never open about it.

Love is for fools and poets and people who don’t have to fight a war. Love is weak, love is manipulative. Love hurts, and Bellatrix cannot handle that kind of pain again. She’d rather Chinese torture.

But it’s late and its so hot and both of them have had more than too much to drink and Bellatrix is feeling oddly happy, she’s forgotten that love is a weakness and that she doesn’t like it. Just like she doesn’t like Sirius… or she does, but she wont let herself think about that too much. She is straddling his lap, facing him and her cheeks are red which Rodolphus finds odd, even in his drunken state, because she never blushes. But it’s the liquor, it has to be, because she has nothing to be ashamed about, she has never thought she had. He says something stupid and she laughs, her head thrown back and she almost tips over backwards but he catches her around the waist and she somehow avoids spilling anything from her glass or falling off of him. After a moment she rights herself and she’s grinning again, but it’s a kinder grin then he’s used to from her and its vulnerable in an odd way, but she’s always been a bit odd.

She kisses him, but its awkward and sloppy because they’re both drunk and it’s strange and somehow it feels like their first kiss all over again, except that she’s not trying to scratch his eyes out. They’ve been kissing for years, but it still seems weird and new and when her tongue seeks his own he allows it, and their lips and tongues tangle in a wet mess but she tastes the same to him as she always has, sweet but bitter around the edges and perhaps tangy. There is more bite from the whiskey, he knows but he can’t really taste it because he’s had so much himself. They accidentally clash noses and she laughs softly again but doesn’t pull away and it is awkward and strange and somehow they both realize this is how love is meant to be treated.

She drops her glass and fire whiskey and glass scatter all over the floor but she doesn’t care and neither does he, because it’s only glass and they could afford enough of them to build Hogwarts from the ground up and still have plenty of money. His fingers are digging into her waist and she shifts slightly towards him and she grins some more and Rodolphus finds he cannot look away from her smile and she kisses him again, and it’s different from before. This time its still hot and wet and awkward but it’s for more fire behind it and she’s moved forward enough that her whole body is pressed against him and he kisses her back, but it’s not possessive, its warm and needing and loving. It must be the liquor again because Rodolphus thinks his checks have turned red, but he’s too proud for that. He doesn’t blush.

And then he kisses her neck, bites and sucks and somewhere in his mind he knows he’ll hit him in the morning if he leaves too many bruises, because she’s not really a whore and doesn’t want to look like one. But she’s his wife and Rodolphus doesn’t care if she hits him for his because right now she’s moaning and it’s so beautiful and that’s what makes it’s obscene. And right now he doesn’t care if she returns the gesture but he wants her to keep making that sound, that purring moan because it’s music to his ears and he’s never heard anything more beautiful.

His fingers run along her waist and she nearly giggles, and Rodolphus realizes for the first time that she’s ticklish. That is strange and new and he wonders why he didn’t work it out before now and this sobers him slightly, but only for a moment. Bellatrix is strangely aware that he’s looking at her breasts, and to tell you the truth she’s never noticed him do that before because she was so used to it. And she wants to play with his hair and just feel him but she’s not sure why and she doesn’t like being not sure. He seems to read her mind though, and if he wasn’t drunk he might have tried, well he kind of thinks he didn’t but isn’t in the best of states to assess the situation so he forgets it, especially since she’s rocking her hips back and forth and his trousers have suddenly become very uncomfortable and Bellatrix is grinning wickedly at him. She’s somehow gotten rid of her shirt without him noticing and her bare breasts are sitting in front of him and she’s excited, he can hear it in her breath.

He doesn’t want to fuck her in the dungeon of their manor where the room smells of liquor and sweat. Well, actually that might be him, but regardless. He doesn’t want to fuck her on the chair like she’s some animal, not that he doesn’t like that it’s just that he loves her and he wants to show her, but he’s afraid to tell her that because she’s never liked love and he never forgets that no matter how drunk he gets. He wants to pick her up but when he tries they both end up on the carpet and he’s on top of her and she rolls her eyes but the smile never faded from those lovely lips of hers.

She slips and she didn’t mean to say it but it’s too late and Rodolphus cannot believe his ears but he saw her lips moving an she says ‘I love you’ and he thinks he heard her wrong but she really does blush now and he knows she said it. But before he can reply she’s kissing him again, fingers clumsy and pulling at his clothes and she’s trying to distract him but her words sobered him because he had never heard her say that to him like she meant it. He knows she’s not lying because he knows her, more then she thinks but she hasn’t noticed he’s not so drink all of a sudden because she’s not all that bright at the moment and he can’t blame her really.

So he does what he always does and he leans down and kisses her and it doesn’t take long before they’re both naked on the floor in front of the fire near his chair and Rodolphus knows he’s the luckiest man on earth and hopes he won’t ever forget this because this kind of behaviour on Bellatrix might never come again and he wants to have a part of it.

Just thought I’d find some more prompts. It amuses me for some reason.

1. They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.
2. Nothing great in the world has ever been accomplished without passion.
3. Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music.
4. No sane man will dance.
5. Better a broken promise than none at all.
6. No real gentleman will tell the naked truth in the presence of ladies.
7. In Boston they ask, how much does he know? In New York, how much is he worth? In Philadelphia, who were his parents?
8. Hunger is the handmaid of genius.
9. The offspring of riches: Pride, vanity, ostentation, arrogance, tyranny.
10. Irreverence is the champion of liberty and its only sure defence.
11. It is best to read the weather forecast before praying for rain
12. Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.
13. Let’s face it, who isn’t less fortunate then I?
14. What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light.
15. Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn’t.
16. Nothing that grieves us can be called little: by the eternal laws of proportion a child’s loss of a doll and a king’s loss of a crown are events of the same size.
17. Modesty died when clothes were born.
18. Therein lies the defect of revenge: it’s all in the anticipation; the thing itself is a pain, not a pleasure; at least the pain is the biggest end of it.
19. I am glad the old masters are all dead, and I only wish they had died sooner.
20. Moralists and philosophers have adjudged those who throw temptation in the way of the erring, equally guilty with those who are thereby led into evil.
21. Nature has given women so much power that the law has very wisely given them little.
22. For the nature of women is closely allied to art.
23. Lie to me.
24. In nature there are neither rewards nor punishments; there are consequences.
25. A woman either loves or hates; she knows no medium.
26. There are three classes of people: those who see. Those who see when they are shown. Those who do not see.
27. While I thought that I was learning how to live, I have been learning how to die.
28. Where there is shouting, there is no true knowledge.
29. The greatest deception men suffer is from their own opinions.
30. Our life is made by the death of others.
31. Water is the driving force of all nature.
32. He who is fixed to a star does not change his mind.
33. The function of muscle is to pull and not to push, except in the case of the genitals and the tongue.
34. Human subtlety will never devise an invention more beautiful, more simple or more direct than does nature because in her inventions nothing is lacking, and nothing is superfluous.
35. The dead cannot cry out for justice; it is a duty of the living to do so for them.
36. Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
37. Love without passion is dreary; passion without love is horrific.
38. The lies that I have loved and actions I have hated.
39. People react to fear, not love – they don’t teach that in Sunday School, but it’s true.
40. He who does not punish evil commands it to be done.
41. Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel.
42. Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.
43. They teach the morals of a whore, and the manners of a dancing-master.
44. We’re all God sometimes, aren’t we?
45. Whats the secret? Sometimes I sing to them.
46. Love truth, and pardon error.
47. Diplomacy is a continuation of war by other means.
48. No one ever told me grief felt so much like fear.
49. This isn’t good or bad. It’s just the way of things. Nothing stays the same.
50. I may be dead, but I’m still pretty.
51. I catnap now and then, but I think while I nap, so it’s not a waste of time.
52. No one forgives with more grace and love than a child.
53. Life is pain, anyone who says differently is selling something.
54. A successful marriage is an edifice that must be rebuilt every day.
55. Don’t play dumb. You’re not as good at it as I am.
56. The shades and shadows undulate in my perception.
57. War is full of firsts… and lasts.
58. If you’re going to make stuff up, go mental.

Technorati : prompts, quotes, writing

Well today was my 16th, and I changed the layout here and put my own header. I have some more writing prompts to post eventually, I hope everyone had a happy holiday and new year, too.