WIP – Faded Blue Jeans – Bellatrix/Sirius

We always spent the summers in France; it was our haven. Our place away from the world, no one, not even the heavens could deny us this place. It was our soul, our inner peace. You don’t get much peace in this world, I once heard it said that life was pain and anyone who said otherwise was selling something and they were right, it is. Our pain wasn’t in France though, it was in England and that’s where we left it, no questions asked.

Sirius and I had an odd relationship, it would seem it was some cruel twist of fate that we’d be related. He and I were closer than friends, closer than family. Closer than lovers, when we lay together to keep each other company it brought us a completeness that I now realise my family never felt. It wasn’t sexual for a long time, we just had a tendency for sleeping better curled up together. Part of being a Black was accepting that happiness wasn’t your prerogative, something I had become so adjusted over the years it still surprises me when I think back that I found so much in someone I had known for so long.

We used to lie outside on the cooling grass in the evenings and watch the daylight turn to dusk, finding our stars and talking. Andromeda would come along sometimes, but she’d often choose to retire to the house early, I think she sensed something long before we ever knew what we were doing, it was just so easy to relax with Sirius. We’d play the stupidest games and we’d run and run it would seem for hours, we’d swim in the sea and climb the trees which my mother so despised me doing. Our parents barely ever came to the summer house, there were house elves there to look after us and we all knew where they were if we wanted them, but we never did. With the five of us alone everything was alright, even if I only sought time with Andromeda and Sirius, Regulus and Narcissa needed me too.

We knew there was a war coming, and each summer brought it closer but that didn’t matter. We didn’t talk about it for so long; we had too many differences on the subject. War has many first and lasts, we all knew that, even then. We never thought that it would all go so wrong.

‘Bella, you won’t. Right?’ was all Sirius said, and my world stopped. I didn’t disagree with the man who I had come to know as Lord Voldemort, and yes I could hurt people but at fifth teen I wasn’t a killer, what person in their right mind is? I didn’t have much choice in the matter though, it seemed at the time that once again my decisions had been made for me.

At the time I thought Sirius might come to hate me if I followed Lord Voldemort and I kept avoiding it, but I wasn’t to be called a coward and that’s what Lucius thought of me, despite the fact I had more courage then he could ever have. He was a Malfoy, he wouldn’t die for his passions, for he was born without them. In a brief moment of wisdom when I was little my mother once told me that if you have passion, you have life, and life will make you stronger, make you succeed. I suppose deep down my mother loved me in her own way, for she did seek to impart some form of wisdom to me even at a young age.

So for a year or so more we ignored the now visible and threatening war on wizarding society and went on with the humdrum of our daily routine, much as we had for our entire lives. We were lying in the grass one full moon in the last summer we would spend together and watching the moon slowly make its trip across the sky and listening to my favourite song on the radio and he rolled over onto his side watching me with the indescribable grin he always seemed to keep just for me. He said ‘The way your eyes shine put the stars to shame,’ and I laughed and said ‘that’s a lie.’ He just shook his head and then, did the one thing that really changed my world, he kissed me. When he pulled away he blushed scarlet and I just smiled. I don’t remember who pulled who up anymore and it doesn’t matter, we danced, we danced all night. I was wearing my favourite black dress, he always loved that dress, said it made me shine like my namesake. How black material could make me shine I shall never know, though it did make me look rather like a demon some nights, though now I have spent many nights virtually being peoples demons I see what I couldn’t have seen then. What was invisible to me all the way across in France with my head nestled against Sirius’ chest dancing while the moon glistened over the sea. Love like I would never find again, not even with Rodolphus. Life’s funny like that I suppose, but Sirius and I couldn’t have really been together. We were cousins.

He brought that damned motorcycle of his in France, drove up to the mansion one day on it looking proud as punch and all I could do was shake my head and try not to laugh. That evening he went to some lengths trying to get me and Andromeda on the motorcycle, eventually he succeeded with giving us both a ride. Once, he insisted I go to a near by village with him, I don’t know why really, but we had fun. He even had the audacity to buy me clothes, muggle clothes. It was a gag gift really, a pair of blue jeans and a nice white shirt. I think what was worse is the fact I had the audacity to wear the silly things. I wore them mostly when I was alone, resting in the garden sun baking. Sirius saw me a few times and was a little shocked, but he had never thought me predictable. When September came they were faded slightly, and Sirius was surprised when he saw me packing them. Well, I was surprised too, really. Sirius had the good grace not to mention it further though.

This is based off an RPG, sammy’s Sirius, my Bella, JKRs world, a song called ‘Tim Mcgraw and Gods only know what else. xD


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